Scarlet's Kosovo Birth - A Story of Insane Grace

So I must warn the reader – I wrote all the details for my own sake, including the bouts of false labor, to have to look back on years later.  So it makes for a long read!

It’s interesting how through my whole pregnancy I could not decide whether or not I wanted an epidural.  I totally went back and forth on it all the time.  Whenever I would really think about it, what it came down to was I just didn’t care.  I didn’t care if I got it, and I didn’t care if I didn’t get it.  I knew that going into it with that attitude, I would probably end up accepting it if it were offered.  So I kinda thought and hoped and imagined that things might go so fast that there wouldn’t be time for one.  It wasn’t that I was “undecided.”  The decision was that I didn’t care.  I even told Jeff a couple times that the fact that I really didn’t care I thought maybe God was preparing me for labor to go so quickly that there wouldn’t be time for it.  I couldn’t decide on the whole “birth plan” thing either.  I just didn’t care about it.  Turns out…it’s a good thing too!  A good thing that I didn’t care, because it would’ve been tossed out the window anyway! LOL

Ok, so I had been having all kinds of Braxton hicks throughout my whole pregnancy.
On Oct 8th, while Jeff and I were on a little “mini-vacation” in Prishtina, I started getting contractions that were really strong.  The pain was all in the pressure “down low” ….very low.  They were coming so regularly for 9 hours, starting at 10 min apart and moving to 5 min apart lasting about a minute.  We called the Dr. and she said let’s wait a couple more hours and see if they increase in length and frequency.  Finally by 11:30pm that night, they were coming 3 minutes apart and lasting over a minute.  So we called again and she agreed we should meet at the birthing hospital, Lindje.  Even though they weren’t to the point that they were excruciating, with the intensity of the pressure, their strength and their predictability, I thought for sure they were doing something…at least early labor?!  I tried so hard to NOT go in unless I was really in labor.  And here I was not able to walk or talk during what seemed like real contractions that were all so regular.  Well, Dr. Fatije checked me and I was not even dilated to 1cm…after all that!   The Dr. called them “liar pains.”  After that appointment, we gave the Dr. a ride home.  It was about midnight. Don’t ya love it?

Just before our mini-vacation

View of Prishtina from our hotel

On Vacation!

Throughout the next 2 weeks, those same “liar pains” kept coming.  Yes, they would even wake me up at night.  I began to just try everything I could to stop the contractions, instead of the normal thing pregnant moms do – everything they can to get labor going.  I was definitely tired of all those liar pains that seemed to be stopping me and hurting me to no avail.  And I figured when real labor started, there would be no stopping it, so maybe that is how I would know.

My sister and her family flew in to Kosovo for their 3 week visit Thursday night, Oct 18th.  Just before we went to pick them up, we had another appointment with Dr. Fatije.  I was still not dilated.  Since I was already 39 weeks and having all these contractions and painful pressure with no dilating, we decided to schedule a C-section for the 23rd.  Dr. was pretty convinced that since all this was going on and nothing has happened by then, nothing was going to change.  I was completely OK with that, and even relieved.  I had secretly been hoping that I would have to have a C-section because of my experience with my first 2 pregnancies (and I didn’t want to appear like a wimp and actually opt for one if I didn’t really need it).  My delivery of my first kid was so rough that it took more than 5 months to heal and feel like a woman again.  My delivery of my 2nd was C-sec because she was breeched, and my healing was so much quicker and easier with the C-sec than with my first kid.  So, naturally, I was glad to accept the C-sec with this one.  And I admit, I was feeling quite vain!  I thought, “This is great.  I will be able to go in to my appointment with my hair and makeup all done.  I’ll be able to pack, have everything ready, and we can be all prepared and organized and ‘appear’ to have it all together.”  And I had also been a bit worried about making it to the hospital in time.  I felt like the baby was soooo low that if and when my labor did start, things would move so fast.  I was always praying that we would make it to the hospital.  But it seemed like scheduling the C-sec would take care of that too.

Well, after our appointment, we picked up my sister, brother-in-law and niece from the airport and came home to dive into all the gifts and baby things that people sent us through Chelsea.  In the mean time, I kept having those same liar contractions.  We finally got to bed around midnight.

Diving in to the buckets that Chelsea and Adam brought!

Baby Shower that came with Chelsea, from friends and family

Around 2:00-2:30am something different woke me up.  This time the contraction felt very different than the others.  The intensity wasn’t any different.  But the pain was all in a different place.  I remember what the labor was like when I had my first child, so I had been waiting for labor to start and feel like that again.  This kinda did, but it still wasn’t as intense as I thought it would be.  So I laid in bed for a couple hours, trying to ignore them.  They kept coming.  I got up, walked around, timed them, etc.  They were about 10 min apart.  I started thinking, OK, maybe these are the real ones..?  But will they just stop again?   I tried the bath around 5:30am and that didn’t work.  They were about 5 min apart by then.  We decided it was time to go in.  All the sudden they just picked up frequency.  Jeff stopped telling me how far apart (or close together) they were, and just got dressed and started gathering the last few things that needed to be packed for the hospital.   He called the Dr. and she said to come in and we would go ahead and do the C-section.  She was still not expecting me to be dilating since I hadn’t been.

Thank God Chelsea and Adam were here, so we could just leave the kids with them.  There would NOT have been time to take them to our friends’ house by then.  By the time we got in the car it was after 6am.  We were actually debating on whether or not to bring Adam along since he was a paramedic and has delivered 3 babies already…just in case we needed him to deliver this one too.  We decided there wasn’t even time to wait for him to get up and dressed and sped off.  Funny thing is if we had waited just a few minutes for him..he WOULD HAVE delivered her in the car!

Jeff drove, I laid down in the front seat reclined.  Mom sat in the back in the middle where I could reach her hand..to squeeeeeze it during contractions.  She was also able to tell me when the contraction peaked.  She talked me through them and kept giving me “where we are” updates.  I couldn’t have done it without her!  Jeff sped..turned a normally 1 hour trip into a 35 minute trip.    Contractions were coming pretty quick and strong.  Bumpy roads.  Lots of construction.  Bad fog.  All I could think of was “PLEASE don’t have this baby in the car!!!”   Mom and Jeff were so calm and awesome.  I was trying really hard not to panic…probably really helped me focus through the contractions since I was trying so hard to NOT have the baby yet LOL.  Then I heard mom tell Jeff in a very calm voice “put your flashers on and go faster”… I knew that she knew things were really getting close.  Then I heard her tell him at a red light intersection, again in a very calm tone “it’s clear, honk your horn and run it”  ..OH BOY! I thought: She’s trying to sound calm to keep me calm…but this baby is so close! OH NO!”  I think at this point I was in transitional labor.  And I kept thinking about all my lovely friends and sister who I know have gone through this with no meds and I thought well I can do this too… BUT PLEASE NOT IN THE CAR!!

[Light green building in center of photo is Lindje. Photo taken on different day.

Then…about 10 min away from hospital I felt the urge to push.
Time to pant so I wouldn’t have her in my pants!  Finally got to the hospital. We enter the little parking lot first on gravel, and then to park, you have to go up a curb onto the pavement.

Hospital and parking lot...where I almost gave birth. Photo taken the next day.

Jeff started pulling up on the curb right in the middle of a pushing contraction and I just started yelling, “STOP THE CAR!! JUST STOP THE CAR!!!”  And I was yelling “IT’S PUSHING! IT’S PUSHING!”  yes… “IT” was pushing..because it was at the point of no control and no return!  Mom laid on the horn like crazy for the doctor and nurses to come out.  Jeff ran around to my door.  The doctor and her nurses come running out totally bewildered at first and surprised – no idea how advanced my labor was.  After all, it did advance so fast.  Mom had called her when we were en route telling them to be ready.  The Dr. came out saying “Come inside! Rachael come inside!” I’m like “HOW?  It’s pushing!!” So she came to my door and she and Jeff tried to get me out of the car.  Again,  I’m saying “HHOOWWW am I supposed to get out!?  IT’S PUSHING!!!!”   At that contraction when they were getting me out of the car, I felt what I thought was baby’s head but now understand was the sac of water.  I thought I should have the baby right there in the parking lot. Dr. felt and said “no no, it’s ok.  Let’s go! Rachael don’t push! Let’s go inside!”   I’m like “HOW!!!???”  So Dr. had me on the left arm, Jeff had my on my right arm.  They carried/dragged/walked me.  A nurse came down with a wheel chair, but Dr sent her back…no time for that.  They carried/dragged/walked me up a small flight of stairs at the entry way.  Then another BIG ONE… “IT’S PUSHING!!! IT’S PUSHING!!” I yelled, and my water gushed right there…Jeff got wet hahahaha.  I thought I should lie down right there and push her out.  “No Rachael, don’t push don’t push…”

Stairs and entry way where my water broke...where I almost gave birth. Photo taken the next day.

We got on the elevator…same thing…another BIG ONE…. “IT’S PUSHING!!” I kept yelling.  Instinct was taking over and I felt like I should lie down in the elevator and have her there. Haha

Elevator (center) ...where I almost gave birth. Photo taken the next day.

Up to the second floor we arrived.  Dr and Jeff carrying/dragging/walking me to the delivery room.  Me still yelling “IT’S PUSHING!!”  The nurses got my pants off (no time to change into the hospital gown) and I barely landed on the delivery table and my feet in the stirrups when another BIG ONE came… I think I maybe grunted…and OUT she came!
Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the meantime, while they were getting me inside, Mom parked the car and jumped out with our bag and ran upstairs.  She made it to the delivery room just in time to see Scarlet on her way out.
They put Scarlet right on me.  We had a few minutes to realize what just happened. Then the nurse took her to clean her up while I finished delivering the placenta.
The nurses started asking right away for the baby’s clothes.  Jeff was like “clothes!? Whose clothes?”  They dressed her right away… using almost half of what I packed for her LOL  They put a onesie, socks, jammies, a hat and wrapped her in 2 blankets…  They like their babies VERY wrapped up here… And she hadn’t been bathed yet, just wiped off, so her hat and her clothes got dirty hahaha

Getting dressed

Well, she came so fast that I had to get a good stitch job…ALL the way from “here” to “there”… and that was hell.  I got a shot to numb the muscle…but there was nothing topical, so I felt EVERYTHING in the skin.  I would give birth 10 more times with no meds if I didn’t have to get stitches like that again.   It was definitely the worst part.  More screaming than the labor and birth.  Poor Jeff.  He wasn’t prepared to see me in that kind of pain.  I wasn’t prepared for that kind of pain. He was the one holding my hand while I was screaming in pain.  His face looked a bit pale, “I have to go sit down,” he told me.  He took a breather out in the hallway for a few minutes.  He didn’t actually pass out, but started feeling all crazy and knew that it would not be cool if he did pass out LOL  So mom came to my side while Jeff laid in the hallway for a few minutes.  Then one of the nurses came by and splashed water on him.  Hahaha
After a few minutes, he came back in to see how Scarlet and I were doing.  They had just finished with the stitches when the Dr. asked Jeff to give the midwife a ride to the other hospital for her next job, less than 10 min away.  She had missed her bus due to our arrival hahaha. He looked over at me and I gave him the “go ahead” look since Mom was there, stitches were done and I was just waiting to get off that table and in my bed.
The table was quite uncomfortable. It wasn’t a bed, like in the states. It was pretty much just an exam table.  And there was nothing to hold on to on the sides.  So I wasn’t able to relax because of feeling so uncomfortable and shakey.

With Dr. on the right and nurse on the left. This is the nurse who brought me chocolates later.

We asked “so what did she weigh?”  And the nurse had forgotten to weigh her before she threw all her clothes on her.  So Scarlet was weighed WITH her clothes on..3300 grams (7 pounds 2 ounces).  She was 52cm (20 ½ inches)
Her card says she was born at 7:20am…but Jeff said we drove up to the hospital at about 6:50am.  Scarlet was born maybe 5 minutes after that..just the time it took to get me to the delivery room!  I guess no one was looking at the clock, everything was happening so fast!
By the time they had me in the wheelchair to move me to my room, Jeff was already walking back in from giving the midwife her ride.  Perfect timing.
The room was comfortable and private.

 

The nursing staff was super sweet.  They didn’t know what to do with themselves because we didn’t need them more.  I only stayed for 24 hours.  There were 2 other patients there that morning, but left that afternoon, so we were the only ones there that night.


The doctor spoke English, but the nurses only spoke Albanian.  I think if someone would have told me that the nurses only spoke Albanian, I might have second-guessed our decision to go there due to my lack of confidence in the language.  But the Lord totally blessed it and it didn’t even phase me.  I really enjoyed the nurses.  They kept trying to steel kisses from Scarlet LOL.  I could tell they wanted to just kiss her and snuggle her.  They kept looking for chances to take care of her, change her, feed her (I didn’t let them give her a bottle, but they offered a few times).  At one point, we asked one of the nurses if they give the babies a bath.  Her response was “sure I can do that if you want me to…maybe later, I don’t have time right now…but I’m really busy tomorrow, so we can do it later today.”  Then she came back and took Scarlet for her bath, but Jeff couldn’t go to take pictures. He wasn’t allowed in that area.  Scarlet was the only baby there by then, so we weren’t worried about any mix-ups LOL.  (Oh, and we didn’t have any wrist bands or anything like that.)  Then she brought Scarlet back and was all excited “Smell her!” she told Jeff.    Then when I saw that nurse again (I was in the bathroom when she first brought Scarlet back from her bath), she asked me “did you kiss your baby!? She smells good!”  hehe it was so cute.
We had a funny conversation with another one of the nurses.  This is how WE thought it went: Nurse: “Do you want dinner?”  Us: “Yes, what do they have?”  Nurse: “I don’t know.”  Us: “Ok, can we have a sandwhich?” Nurse: “No, they don’t have that.”  Us: “Ok, just bring us what they have.”  Hahahaha this must have been a language blooper on our part.
Another nurse brought me chocolate candies that evening.
Our Doctor went home that morning after Scarlet and I were all situated in our room.  She called the nurses a few times throughout the day and evening to see how I was doing.  And she called Jeff’s cell phone.  The next morning she called Jeff’s phone to check on us again.  She was sweet.  She kept hugging me and kissing my head after the whole delivery and stitch up.  She was the first one to call Scarlet a little Kosovo Princess. 
Praise God for our experience here.  I look back and I am so happy and blessed by the whole experience.  God is good.  God is faithful.

Scarlet Sue Harry ~ Oct 19, 2012