The Unhappy Bride (by Jeff)

   In Kosovo there are many traditions that the Albanian people hold dear. One of the most important of these is the Albanian wedding. Just as every culture has its wedding traditions the Kosovar Albanians have an elaborate set of traditions that they keep when celebrating the coming together of a man and woman in marriage. There is so much we could say about the Kosovar wedding and it would be amazing if there was a professional photographer who would come and document the whole thing step by step just to capture the richness of these traditions in Kosovo. But we will focus on the main attraction of the wedding which is, just as in any wedding, the Bride (Nusja "NOOS-ya").

   Though there are many days of arranging and preparing, singing and celebrating before and after, the actual wedding day is the main event. The groom’s family and friends spend time eating together, dancing, socializing until the time comes to go get the Nusja. Everyone gets into their festively decorated vehicles. In everything from an old donkey (like they used to do it or today’s equivalent an old volkswagon bus) to the uncle who works in Germany’s Mercedes-Benz S-Class, the wedding party goes on wheels singing and dancing, hanging out the windows, blasting the tunes, waving their hand towels (banners of joy) to get their prize.

   Meanwhile the Nusja’s family has their own traditions to follow and this is where it gets interesting. All of her relatives come over but this side of the wedding has a different feel to it. All are socializing, some are singing and dancing but the Nusja is not found among them. She is inside making herself ready for her appearance. She has her makeup done to precision, she is clothed in an immaculate dress, and her hair is perfectly in place. Some would think at this point she is just trying to hold back the tears of joy and excitement for surely she has waited for this day her entire life. When she appears the people will be amazed by her wonderful smile and joy beaming from her face. But it is not so. When the Nusja emerges her face is as straight as the hardest lineman in the NFL. It is not because she is not happy. She may or may not be depending on the arrangements. This is just the tradition. The groom’s family wisks her away in the last and nicest car in their caravan with various other traditions. Her family mourns her going with much crying and sometimes even wailing, if she was close with her sisters. And throughout the rest of the celebration she never cracks a smile. The centerpiece of the wedding, the most beautiful woman present, the glory of the Albanian people, the Nusja, the Bride appears as if she is unhappy.

   We know this is because of tradition. She honors her family by keeping this tradition. All of her family members, mother and father, aunts and uncles, grandparents and great grandparents, cousins and all are there, from that village, in that village for this special time and all of their eyes are upon her. She is now ceremonially leaving them, taking a new last name, moving into a new village to return only to visit. Things will never be the same. So she does this very solemnly to show her love for them and her desire to see them honored. If she smiles or does not look sorrowful she will be a disgrace to her entire family and everyone present will speak of her as a shame. She by no means takes this obligation lightly. This is her culture and traditionally she has no choice in the matter. This is how it is done. While all of the others will sing and dance, she stands straight up, her hands and head in perfect stillness, hiding all of her emotions. She may want to smile and embrace her groom but she is a statue. She may desire to sing and shout for joy but she is a symbol. Because of her traditions she is the unhappy Bride.

   This is a picture of the Bride of Christ in Kosovo. The rich traditions of this ancient people are the very same reasons that this Nusja, the centerpiece of creation, the one for whom all of creation eagerly waits to be revealed, is now emerging from her home in Kosovo with sorrow on her face. She may want to run to her Bridegroom jump into His arms and kiss Him, but her traditions will not allow this. This is her culture and she cannot crack a smile or she will be cut off from her circle and bring shame on her family. Oh, her heart sings within her of her Wonderful Suiter but she because time and tradition cannot show her love to Him. She is an unhappy Bride. This is the Church in KS.

LORD, we pray make a way for your Nusja for you are coming for her quickly.